well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
