WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
