ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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