I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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