This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
