ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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