your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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