Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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