Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
