I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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