your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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