How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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