somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
