Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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