Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize