But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
