Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm jealous of your bromance
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He? As in you personified your dick?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
