everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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