u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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