I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
