he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
