Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
