Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
