so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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