Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
