I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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