I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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