True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
