i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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