Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize