You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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