ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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