She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
