Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
