she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
