i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
