wakey wakey hands off snakey
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Two words: blizzard sex
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize