its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
