I must be too annoying 4 u.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
