Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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