Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Your penis caused this!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
