So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
