Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
