she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
