only you would photoshop your dick
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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