i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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