theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
