3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Your tits are I can't wait for
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
