It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
