Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize