i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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