I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
