I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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