You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
His hands were made for my vagina.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
