Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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