He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
