grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
