Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just found a bag of teeth...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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