I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize