sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
