so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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